So I work at this beauty supply store. It’s pretty easy, I just put nail polish away, organize the hair dye, maybe sweep the floor. Nothing is really very demanding or stressful, and for the most part I enjoy working there. Nothing really to get excited about. Except when it comes to loss prevention. Now, beauty products are expensive. I understand that five to seven dollars for a small tube of lip gloss is a proverbial ball breaker. Paying almost $90 dollars for a weave is, to me, a sign that your parents must not have loved you enough as a child. That’s probably why we have such an insanely high theft rate. What I mean to say is, bitches steal. One of our jobs, as an employee, is to stand there and stare at the customers who exhibit the typical behavior of thieving bitches. This includes talking loudly, asking stupid questions, a group that splits up throughout the store, going through product forever without deciding and long loud discussions of what friends think they should or shouldn’t get. That’s right you guys, the typical profile of people who steal from our store are teenage emo girls, this one coked out gay guy, and large, loud, hyphy black bitches. The teenage emo girls I have no problem with. They get scurred and run once I start looking at them, or asking them if they’re going to pay for their four-dollar jar of Manic Panic. The gay guy, though very frightening, is always accompanied by some chick holding a bundled baby (which never cries, and is never seen: I swear, it’s fake), and for some weird reason that makes him easier to approach.
But the big hyphy black girls are what’s gonna getcha. We call them Shaboomikas, And Shaboomikas get reeeeaal mad. Of course they only get mad because they’re trying to steal, and they know you know. But they’re so hateful guys, even if they’re calling you bro. I’ve been called a bitch multiple times, been told fuck you, and even just completely been sidestepped as they walk out the door with, oddly enough, our cheapest hair dryer and with a “Fuck you, bro” as they left. I’m even pretty sure I saw someone’s car waiting in the parking lot outside. Is it worth it? I get paid $8.50 an hour, which I believe is a whopping ten cents above minimum wage. I’m not a little bitch, but god help me, I’m small. Is it worth it to build up an army of scary large black girls who hate me, and think they can talk shit? Probably. Gotta get paid.
-Alex
But the big hyphy black girls are what’s gonna getcha. We call them Shaboomikas, And Shaboomikas get reeeeaal mad. Of course they only get mad because they’re trying to steal, and they know you know. But they’re so hateful guys, even if they’re calling you bro. I’ve been called a bitch multiple times, been told fuck you, and even just completely been sidestepped as they walk out the door with, oddly enough, our cheapest hair dryer and with a “Fuck you, bro” as they left. I’m even pretty sure I saw someone’s car waiting in the parking lot outside. Is it worth it? I get paid $8.50 an hour, which I believe is a whopping ten cents above minimum wage. I’m not a little bitch, but god help me, I’m small. Is it worth it to build up an army of scary large black girls who hate me, and think they can talk shit? Probably. Gotta get paid.
-Alex
