Two political parties represent the “majority” of the people of the United States. They are, of course, the Republican and Democratic parties. For some reason, the huge variety of ideologies, beliefs and values that Americans hold have been summed up into two caricatures: The Queer-Sexual, Baby-Killin’ Socialist liberal, or the Gun-Totin’ Welfare-Hatin’, Money-Makin’ Republican. Liberalism and conservatism being inextricably linked with Democrats and Republicans, respectively. Why is this? I know people. Those people think stuff. And that stuff is nowhere close to either of these representations. I can’t say I really am either. How about this: I’m not pro-choice. I’m in favor of small government. I’m also in favor of the death penalty. (most of you are thinking “Whaaaaaa?? I thought this chick had dreads…”) Calm down, you guys, FUCK! I also think marijuana, gay marriage and minor public urination should be legal. I think ass-tons of money should be poured into schools, that public access television should include free hard-core porn, and that there should be more public funding for election candidates so that regular people have more than a pimp’s chance in church of getting elected.
Where the fuck is my party? I mean most of that stuff isn’t even an obscure grouping of values. I consider myself a fairly average example of my peers. Why are all of our candidates Christian? I’m not friends with a single Christian (that I know of). It’s not because I don’t like them, I don’t have a problem with Christians. And it’s not to say they’re not out there because god knows (ha ha?) they’re out there. But there is a large percentage of people in the U.S. that don’t consider themselves religious. Where the fuck is our party? I want a public figure who can say to the media, “Fuck you, that’s none of your business, and it doesn’t affect my politics or my golf game, or my reality TV show whether or not I twisted a stripper‘s nipples, or sucked some guy‘s dick at a truck stop. SO SUCK IT, AMERICA.” Because I know there are plenty of people like me out there who would simply respond with, “….Fair enough.” Other democratic nations have 5 or 6 major parties. Maybe that’s why so many people just don’t vote in the U.S. Because it’s so often a choice between the lesser or two evils. Basically, my whole point is that it’s ridiculous that in a nation as incredibly diverse and varied as America is, the two-party system has a stronghold over us, and it really gets my goat. What should we do about it? Fuck if I know, I’m too busy with other shit to figure it out. Vote or some shit like that. Read a book, burn down a building, I don’t know…..
Where the fuck is my party? I mean most of that stuff isn’t even an obscure grouping of values. I consider myself a fairly average example of my peers. Why are all of our candidates Christian? I’m not friends with a single Christian (that I know of). It’s not because I don’t like them, I don’t have a problem with Christians. And it’s not to say they’re not out there because god knows (ha ha?) they’re out there. But there is a large percentage of people in the U.S. that don’t consider themselves religious. Where the fuck is our party? I want a public figure who can say to the media, “Fuck you, that’s none of your business, and it doesn’t affect my politics or my golf game, or my reality TV show whether or not I twisted a stripper‘s nipples, or sucked some guy‘s dick at a truck stop. SO SUCK IT, AMERICA.” Because I know there are plenty of people like me out there who would simply respond with, “….Fair enough.” Other democratic nations have 5 or 6 major parties. Maybe that’s why so many people just don’t vote in the U.S. Because it’s so often a choice between the lesser or two evils. Basically, my whole point is that it’s ridiculous that in a nation as incredibly diverse and varied as America is, the two-party system has a stronghold over us, and it really gets my goat. What should we do about it? Fuck if I know, I’m too busy with other shit to figure it out. Vote or some shit like that. Read a book, burn down a building, I don’t know…..
-Alex